Love Lives and Anbu
by sketchfan
Summary: AU,set after Shippuden. Our favourite knucklehead and Hyuuga princess are about to find out certain feelings, and that love will tak you to many strange places and people, especially in the ANBU. Co-written with The Digger.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginnings

_Author's notes: This chapter was written by my good buddy, The Digger, author of Nudist? This story is AU, as Hinata and Naruto are teammates together, and there will be NO Sasuke in this story, at all. _

Naruto was taking the long way home from a dull mission, walking through the woods late at night. Even though he was a jounin at the age of 18, he still found himself doing a lot of long, tedious missions, and he liked to walk home through the forests of the Leaf Village to shake off the slight irritation he felt after doing such jobs. But it was on this particular walk that his life would start to change forever.

As he strode by a water fall, who's gushing water was illuminated beautifully under the moonlight, his foot snagged on something. He looked down to see to his embarrassing surprise a pair of woman's panties! Though they were an adult's size, they had something of a childish look to them, white with red strawberries on them. Naruto didn't know what to do with them; it would be far too rude to just put them back on the ground where he found them, but it would make him look and feel like a creepy pervert to pocket them. He saw more clothes sitting on a rock next to the river and a pair of shoes. He blushed as he thought that a girl somewhere nearby was butt naked.

Though he soon found out who, as he turned to the waterfall, where a silhouette was moving gracefully along the water's edge under the waterfall's gaze. Her true identity was hidden by the brightness of the moonlit water, hiding her body in shadow, but her form was very womanly and slender, her hair long and smooth. Naruto had seen somebody dance across the water at moonlight once before six years ago, and he suspected that this was that very same waterfall girl all grown up. Upon looking a little closer at her womanly shape, he could tell that she was completely naked.

"So she's the one walking around in the nude?" Naruto thought. There was something familiar about her, though. He didn't know what it was, but he felt like he knew her somewhere, and as he looked at the familiar clothes on the ground, he flushed with great embarrassment as he figured out just who it was.

His longtime friend and teammate, Hinata Hyuuga.

"But why would she be doing something like this?" Naruto thought curiously. Hinata was the last person he would have thought to be dancing around butt naked outside under a waterfall. He didn't have the slightest clue now what to do besides stand and watch her as she danced gracefully on the water. But as he did, he realized what she was doing was not a dance, but some form of taijutsu, possibly a form used by the Hyuuga clan, thought Naruto had a rather hard time imagining the stuffy, old-fashioned Hyuuga clan developing a taijustu one had to be naked to use or practice.

He then felt a sudden light feeling in his chest. The kind of thing he only used to feel around Sakura back in their academy days. Deciding the best thing to do was to return to what he was doing before, he set Hinata's panties down with the rest of her clothes and returned to his usual path, stealing one last glance at the elegant waterfall girl.

The next day, Naruto, Hinata, and Sakura were assigned to assist with the reconstruction of the wall surrounding the Leaf Village. A few days ago, a treacherous storm had made its way through the area around the leaf village. The damage to the village itself was minimal at worst, but the large wall surrounding it was heavily damaged. Many of the shinobi, even a lot of the jounin, assisted in the rebuilding.

"If we can keep this up, it'll be back up and better than ever in two days tops!" Sakura was saying enthusiastically. Naruto and Hinata nodded in agreement.

Naruto had other things on his mind at the moment, however. He had a hard time looking Hinata straight in the eye all that day, remembering what he had saw her doing last night, and he found himself turning redder and redder every time they got close. "So this is why she's always like this with me." He thought. He then turned to Sakura and wondered: "Why do I feel so different around her now?"

He saw Sakura reaching for a tool and got an idea. He reached for the same tool and their hands met. "Ah! 'Scuse me." He muttered, recoiling his hand. "Sorry." said Sakura, grabbing the tool and turning away, her face slightly pink.

"Nothing." Naruto thought, looking at his hand. He had pulled stunts like these all the time in their early days as squad mates and he always felt a pleasant tingling sensation in his hand when he did, though this time, there was nothing. He tried a similar experiment on Hinata, reaching out for the same thing she was. When their hands touched, he felt an immense feeling of comfort, his face reddening as prominently as Hinata's. "Sorry." They said in unison. The rest of the day went by uneventfully until late that day, when Naruto had finally come to the conclusion anyone else would have come up with three years earlier: he was in love with Hinata Hyuuga. But how would he tell her?

"Is something wrong, Naruto?" asked Hitomi, Hinata's mother that night as they ate dinner. Ever since Naruto made jounin at age 16, Hiashi, the man of the Hyuuga household, saw Naruto to be 'worthy', so he had lived in their home as something of an adoptive son ever since. Naruto definitely couldn't complain, the rich Hyuuga household was a grand improvement over the small, lonely apartment he had lived in since his academy days, but he always felt something of a discomfort around Hiashi, who almost never even seemed to notice that Naruto was in the room, and his daughter, Hanabi, who seemed scared to death of him, never making eye contact with him and trying to be as far away from him as possible. But he greatly enjoyed the company of her mother, Hitomi. She was beautiful, with long ink blue hair and dazzling green eyes, and very gentle and loving, the kind of person Naruto always envisioned his own mother to be like, were she alive.

"Uh, no. Nothing at all." Naruto lied, avoiding Hitomi's beautiful, loving eyes. He definitely had something on his mind, or rather, someone, but he didn't want to tell that someone's mother about his feelings yet. Hiashi would probably be outraged and Hanabi would scream and never let herself be seen again in Naruto's presence. Plus he really didn't want Hinata to know about his feelings for her just yet. He knew full well he could talk to Hitomi about anything, but he knew that went double for both her daughters, and husband, so she didn't seem to be quite the person to talk to about romance.

Even though he was still hungry from the long day, Naruto walked away from the dinner table, his plate still half unfinished, and sat on his futon in his room. Naruto's bedroom was nowhere near as roomy or comfortable as the other Hyuugas, it used to be a guest room, but he didn't care. Whether he was Hyuuga or not, it was a room of his own, in the house of the closest thing Naruto could ever get to real family.

"Naruto? What's the matter?" Hitomi had stepped in, looking concerned. "I-it's nothing. Really." Naruto assured her.

"Naruto. A mother always knows." said Hitomi brightly. "You don't have to hide anything from me." Naruto didn't know how to respond. He didn't nearly have the brains to invent something off the bat like this, especially not in front of a Hyuuga, even if she wasn't born to Hyuuga blood.

"Um, Mrs. Hyuuga? What is that dance Hinata does at night?" Naruto asked. He wanted to hit himself the moment the words came out of his mouth.

"So you've seen that?" Hitomi smiled. "Well then let me ask you something first, Naruto. What do you think of Hinata?" Naruto blushed furiously.

"Um… wh-wha…what do you mean by that!" He stammered. "Do you love her?" Hitomi asked simply.

"Umm…. Well… I don't, I mean… We're great friends, of course, and we've been teammates since we were twelve, so… and I'm glad she invited me to live here, but I… well… Uh…" Naruto blabbered incomprehensively.

"Don't worry." Hitomi smiled. "I won't tell Hinata." Naruto flushed even redder.

"So she knows." Naruto thought. "Um, thanks, Mrs. Hyuuga." He said. "Um, I'm kind of tired so I'm just going to…" He indicated his futon and Hitomi, understanding said good night and left.

"There's got to be someone else I could talk to about romantic problems." Naruto muttered to himself as he walked through the leaf village the next day. "Kakashi-sensei? No, I don't think so. Pervy sage? Oh, hell no! He's the last one to go to for romantic advice! Grandma Tsunade has enough on her plate right now, and Shizune's out of the question."

"Hello, Naruto!" Called a very chipper voice. "Want some ramen? I'll buy for you!"

"Oh, hi Tobi." Naruto waved. "Yeah, sure. Thanks." They walked a short distance to Ichiraku and enjoyed some lunch. Ever since Naruto had defeated the Akatsuki, the mysterious and childish Tobi had taken to hanging around the leaf village as though he had never been a part of the most sinister organization in the world. He had taken quite a shine to ramen, though it was beyond Naruto, or anyone for that matter, how he could eat at such a normal pace without removing the orange mask that concealed his face.

"What's the matter, Naruto? Did Tobi not do good?" Tobi asked.

"No, no. It's not that. I just have something on my mind right now." Said Naruto, slurping a mouthful of noodles to make some time to think when Tobi asked, "What is it that's on your mind? Might Tobi help?" Naruto stalled for more time by slowly drinking the dregs of his ramen.

"I don't suppose you know much about girls?" He said, once he ran out of ways to stall for time.

"Hmmmmmmm…." Tobi hummed thoughtfully. "No, Tobi can't say he can." he shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, Tobi. It's nothing big." Naruto grinned, standing up. "We'll I'd best be off. And thanks for the ramen, Tobi."

"It's no problem! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi piped childishly. Naruto chuckled as he left the noodle shop to find something to do for his day off missions. He decided to go help Konohamaru practice at one of the training fields. Konohamaru had grown quite a bit since his bratty, juvenile days stalking Naruto when he was at the academy. He had grown into a very skilled shinobi, who was looking to taking the chunin exams coming within the next few weeks. He had truly mastered the shadow clone jutsu, and he was working as hard as he could on the rasengan, though he was still pretty shaky with it.

"Ugh! I don't see how you can do it so easily!" He panted after another failed attempt at making a rasengan.

"Oh, trust me, it was tough for me too." Naruto assured him. "I had to use a clone to help me put it together for the longest time." He grinned. Konohamaru was like a younger brother to him. He even looked a lot like Naruto now, his black hair was quite spiky and though he wore green instead of orange, his clothes were an awful lot like Naruto's when he was that age. "So what's been on your mind, Naruto?" asked Konohamaru. "I can tell there's something going on with you."

"Do you know anything about girls, Konohamaru?" Naruto asked, though he knew long before he asked what the answer would be.

"Yeah, a bit." Konohamaru shrugged. "Why? There someone that you…? You know." He raised a pinky finger.

"Uh, yeah." Naruto blushed. "Uh, you know Hinata, right?"

"Blue-haired girl in your squad who mumbles a lot and has big tits?" Konohamaru made to confirm. "Well, yeah, basically." Said Naruto. "So, do you have any romantic advice?"

"Well, I just learned about girls myself like two days ago, so not really, no." Konohamaru admitted. "But I do know who you can talk to for some. She's great. Though a little…" His face turned bright scarlet.

"A little what?" Naruto asked. "Uh, you'll just have to see for yourself." Konohamaru blushed. "But yeah, Anko-sensei's a great person to talk to about this kind of thing."

"Did you say Anko-sensei?" said Naruto. He remembered that crazy woman when he took the chunin exams, her skimpy outfit, her bizarre personality and quite literal blood thirst. "Yup. She's even one of the directors for the chunin exams, which is kind of a plus." said Konohamaru enthusiastically.

"Thanks, Konohamaru." Said Naruto, leaving the training ground. He ran through town, looking for Anko, though with a great load of difficulty. He couldn't find her anywhere in town, not even at her favorite dango shop.

"Geez, you'd think you could keep easy track of a lady who wears nothing but fishnet and a trench coat." He said to himself, looking around from the top of a building.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Naruto jumped as though he had just been hit in the butt by a secret finger jutsu.

"Ah! Anko-sensei, what are you doing here!" Naruto gasped. "Heard a certain spiky blond kid was lookin' for me." Anko grinned. "Or are you just into the exhibitionist kind of girl?"

"No, no, no! I was looking for you." Said Naruto quickly, to which Anko laughed. "I was just teasing! God, kid. Lighten up. So whatd'ya need me for?"

"Uh… Could we talk about it somewhere private?" Naruto asked. "Preferably where there's not a bunch of old folks staring at us?" Sure enough, the rooftop they stood on was one of an old folk's home, and many senior citizens were staring at them with a great mix of expressions.

"Put some clothes on, missy!" One particularly grumpy lady screamed at Anko.

"Good point." Muttered Anko, shooting a dirty look at the lady who shouted at her. She lead Naruto from rooftop to rooftop to a small, rather messy apartment.

"Hope you don't mind I haven't cleaned for a few days." She said once inside.

"A few days! It doesn't look like this place has been cleaned since she started living here!" Naruto thought. The sofa he sat one was quite worn, there were holes in places, some of which with shuriken and kunai sticking out of them, the floor was littered with sake bottles, trash, and dirty magazines, and the light fixture above dangled dangerously above, as though it would fall any moment. "So what's up?" Anko asked in a voice that seemed too friendly for her. "What've you been looking for me for?"

"Um, well, Konohamaru told me you give good romantic advice." Naruto answered. "And…"

"Oh, did he now?" Anko grinned, looking quite flattered.

"And I was wondering if you could give me a hand with something?" Naruto finished. Anko applauded, the light fixture giving an unnerving creek. "Kidding aside, what kind of love problems are you having?" Anko asked. "Cumming too soon? Feeling she's not enjoying it? Don't know how to give her a blowjob?"

"No! Nothing like that!" Naruto flustered. "I haven't even told her I love her yet."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding." Anko sighed. "That Sarutobi kid told me the same thing and chickened out when we really got started with the lessons. Well, anyway, who is this girl? I promise I won't tell."

"Uh, you might remember her. Um, Hinata Hyuuga." Naruto answered.

"Blue hair? Blushes a lot? Two D's on her report card?" asked Anko. "Yeah, that's her. But she's always had a lot of good grades. I don't think she's ever gotten anything less than a C." said Naruto.

"I wasn't talking about her grades." Anko grinned perversely. "At any rate, the first step is of course to let her know you love her, then you learn what she feels about you, then you establish the exact nature of your relationship, then, if you choose to be together, you do the nasty with her."

"Anko-sensei! I'm just looking to be more romantic to Hinata!" said Naruto.

"And nothing says romantic quite like giving her sweet, sweet pleasure under the covers!" said Anko. "So there you go."

"But I can't just say I love her and get in bed with her that's not…!" Naruto argued.

"God, you sound just like Konohamaru." Anko sighed. "He was saying the exact same thing about him and Hanabi."

"Wait, Hanabi?" Naruto repeated. "Yeah. I always thought you boys were like brothers, and you're both crushing on the Hyuuga sisters. How 'bout that?" Anko laughed. "Anyway, sure, let's say, for the sake of argument, that we're not going to have sex right off the bat. Start off by letting her know she loves you. You don't need a teacher to know that."

"But I don't even know if she'll return my feelings." Said Naruto lamely. Anko gave him a firm rap on the head.

"Kid, you must be downright brainless if you haven't noticed how much she loves you." She said. "Just tell her. I bet she'd be so happy she'd have a heart attack."

"Okay, then what?" Naruto asked.

"Then you charm her." Anko whispered seductively. "How?" Naruto asked cluelessly. Anko sighed. "That's just something that's learned, not taught." She said. "Tell you what. Talk to her tonight, confess your feelings for her, and just try to keep a level head. Then let me know how it went tomorrow at about, oh say…" She looked up at a damaged clock on the wall. "Five o'clock, and we'll work from there. Sound like a deal?"

"Sure." Naruto shrugged. "Thanks, Anko-sensei."

"Drop the sensei, we're both jounin here." Anko grinned. "Now get outta here, there's a certain Hyuuga girl waiting for you." She winked. Naruto left with a final wave. "She is one hell of a wild woman." He thought.

That night, dinner was as awkwardly quiet as last night. Though Naruto attempted to break the silence with a talk to Hinata, he didn't want to broadcast his feelings for her, especially not in front of her parents and little sister.

"Is something wrong Naruto?" Hitomi asked.

"No. Not at all." Said Naruto, this time sounding a bit more convincing than last night. Instead of leaving his dinner unfinished, this time he put it away really quickly, making Hiashi stuck between wanting to stare at the scene he was making and wanting to look away from it in embarrassment.

"Um… night!" Naruto blurted when he finished his meal, running off to his room. The Hyuuga family stared after him with confusion.

"Hinata? There's something I need to talk to you about." Hitomi whispered to her daughter. "Something about Naruto."

"I know I need to talk to her about my feelings but," Naruto sighed. "How do you engage a conversation like that?" He practiced engaging a number of different scenarios, speaking aloud, but nothing he said came out right. He sighed, tired and ready for bed, but just as he finished changing into his PJs, there was a knock on his door. "May I please come in, Naruto?" Hinata's voice squeaked. "Sure." said Naruto.

Hinata stepped in, very red in the face. "Um, Naruto. There's something that I've wanted to tell you for a long time." She said softly.

"I do too." Said Naruto, knowing where Hinata was going with this.

"Y-you first." Hinata muttered.

"No, you first. You've wanted to say it longer than me." Naruto insisted. Hinata nodded, took a deep breath and said,

"Naruto, for as long as I can remember, I have always…. Loved you." Said Hinata, saying these last two words a little louder than she meant to. She inched back, afraid of how Naruto would react.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to notice." Said Naruto, holding Hinata in a loving brace. "But I love you too, Hinata."And much to Hinata's surprise, he kissed her on the mouth. He backed off after a few seconds. "Ah! Sorry. Did you not want me to…?"

"No. I've always wanted you to." Hinata smiled, returning the kiss.

"That's my girl." Hitomi smiled, watching them kiss through the slightly opened door. "Sorry I lied to you, Naruto, but I'm sure you could forgive me."

"Um, Na-Naruto?" Hinata stuttered. "Would you mind too terribly if I… if I slept with you tonight?"

"Not at all." Naruto smiled, climbing back into his futon and offering Hinata some space. Hinata turned off the lights and after a brief moment, laid in the futon, though Naruto felt a lot more skin against his than he expected. "Is she… naked?" Naruto thought, blushing madly. "She is!"

"Are you comfortable, Naruto?" Hinata asked. "Y-yeah." Naruto whispered. "Just a second." He slipped out and stripped all of his clothes off too, then slipped back into bed. Hinata gave a low gasp. "N-n-naruto! Are you…!"

"Yeah. Just like you." Naruto whispered. "Are you uncomfortable with…?"

"No! Not at all!" Hinata insisted. "I was just… surprised, that's all." She held him tightly. "You're so warm." She whispered tenderly. "You're pretty warm yourself. And so soft. Like silk." Naruto whispered, holding Hinata just as lovingly.

"So when we were younger," said Naruto. "And you were always blushing, and coying around and fainting, was that all because of me?" Hinata made a soft noise, something between surprise and embarrassment. "Um, yes." She squeaked.

"I feel so stupid for not knowing that." Said Naruto, laughing a little. "We've even been teammates, and I still never noticed. But looking back on it, I think it was really cute." He kissed her again.

"Oh, Naruto." Neither of them had the courage to do the thing Anko really wanted them to do, but they were happy together regardless, sleeping together wearing absolutely nothing, feeling the warmth of each other's skin was more than they could ever ask for.

The next morning at breakfast was far less awkward than it usually was in the Hyuuga House, though Naruto was immensely surprised at the differences in behavior of everyone at the table. Hitomi was even nicer than usual to him and Hinata, urging them to sit next to each other, Hiashi actually cast him a smile, which was rare for the man who had frowning wrinkles between his eyebrows, Hanabi seemed generally less evasive of Naruto as well, taking a seat at his opposite side and even told him,

"You two look so cute together. Treat my big sister well, Naruto."

"Naruto, would you like to train with me and Hanabi after you finish?" Hiashi asked. Naruto stared incredulously at him.

"Go ahead. Say yes." Hitomi whispered in his ear. "It's his way of wanting to make friends with you."

"Yeah, okay." Said Naruto. He finished his breakfast and Hinata followed him as Hiashi led them to the dojo in the back.

Hiashi was a true taijutsu master, one who could put Might Gai and Rock Lee to shame, as Naruto soon found out. He had a very hard time keeping up with Hiashi's movements and it didn't help any that he was forbidden from using any ninjutsu, much less shadow clone jutsu.

"You need to learn to master fighting without the aid of your chakra." Hiashi instructed as Naruto took a much needed rest. "Even though your chakra is far more immense than most shinobi, it is wise to learn how to fight without it, using only your bare hands. You will not always be able to call on or rely on your chakra. Remember that." Six years ago, Naruto would throw such a tantrum that Hiashi would never allow him within a hundred feet of the Hyuuga Household ever again, but he was much stronger and wiser now, and knew Hiashi spoke only the truth.

"I understand." He said simply. He stood, ready to go another round, but just as he took his fighting stance, several loud explosions sounded all around, knocking him off balance. "What's going on!" He asked. Hanabi and Hinata activated their byakugan and scanned the area.

"I don't know!" said Hanabi, frightened. "But they're getting closer! Is the village being attacked?"

"It seems that way, but the only places being attacked are civilian homes and buildings." said Hiashi, his byakugan also active. His white eyes became wide. "They would dare? Hitomi!" he rushed into the house, Naruto following. He stared in fright as he saw the damage to the Hyuuga House. There were several gaping holes in the walls and ceiling, several antiques smashed and scattered. There were even some spots of blood on the floor.

"Hitomi!" Hiashi shouted, scanning the village for his wife, tears actually falling down his once stern face. "Hitomi!"

"She's been taken." Said a voice from above. A woman dressed in light grey battle armor and mask whose face somewhat resembled that of a snake dropped in through a hole in the roof. "Many women from the village are being captured, and it's not just here. Kidnappings of women have been occurring all over the Land of Fire!

"You're anbu! Do something about it!" Hiashi demanded. "I will not allow my wife to be…!"

"So, Naruto. How'd things with Hinata go last night?" The anbu woman asked. Naruto felt some sort of shock as he recognized the woman's voice.

"Anko?" He said. "You guessed it." She said, removing her mask.

"Now is really not the time for that!" said Naruto sternly. "Mrs. Hyuuga's just been kidnapped and…"

"And you want to rescue her, right?" Anko finished for him. "What about you, Hinata?"

"Of course. I need to rescue my mother!" Hinata stated.

"Then come with me." Anko gestured to them. "Where are you taking us?" Naruto asked.

"To the Ero Division."

**To be continued….**

_**Omake 1:**_** written by The Digger.**

Hinata: Naruto! Look what I found!

Naruto: Whoa. Isn't that the picture that we took when we first became genin?

Hinata: It sure is.

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei hasn't changed one bit in all these years, has he? Man, those were the days, huh?

Hinata: mhm! *blushes* Do you remember our first kiss?

Naruto: How could anyone forget that?

~6 years ago~

Hinata: Um, Naruto. I'm… I'm glad to see that you graduated as well, and um… well…

Naruto: *leaning in to hear* Huh? What'd you say, Hinata? I couldn't hear… whoa! *falls out of his seat and onto Hinata, kissing her. Entire classroom goes silent, staring at them*

Hinata: *thoughts* Naruto! He's… kissing me! *faints*

~flashback end~

Naruto: *laughs* I was really scared. I'd never seen you faint like that, so I thought you were dead or something!

Hinata: *giggles* yeah. That sure was a pretty huge surprise. But not nearly as big a surprise as when they announced the squads the next day.

Naruto: Really? What was th… Oh, now I know what you're talking about!

~6 years ago~

Iruka: Squad 7: Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuuga, and Sakura Haruno.

Naruto: *thoughts* I get to be with Sakura AND Hinata! hehehe. I'm so lucky!

Hinata: *thinks while hugging herself happily* I get to be with Naruto! I'm so happy! I'm so, so happy!

Sakura: *thoughts* I can't believe I get to be with Naruto. Sure, he's a total lunk head, but he's a good person.

Iruka: Next, Squad 8: Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, and Hanabi Hyuuga.

Hinata: EH! But sensei! Hanabi is only seven years old!

Iruka: I know. She's one of our youngest and earliest graduates. I can't believe it myself.

Kiba: Hey, Shino. Doesn't it bother you a little kid is in the same squad as us?

Shino: Well, it certainly is unexpected. If she lives up to her early graduation, she would surely be a credit to our team.

Kiba: Well, yeah, I guess. But still, to be outdone by a seven year old… it's awkward.

Hanabi: *just in front of Kiba* I'm right here, you know. And don't worry. I promise to do the best I can.

~a week later~

Kiba: *watching Hanabi's taijutsu skills with utter astonishment* Am I the only one who thinks feels really awkward about being outmatched by a girl whose age isn't even in the double digits yet?

Shino: Not at all.

Kurenai: She could leave me in the dust by age 12 if I don't watch it.

~3 years later~

Hanabi: Kurenai-sensei? Could I ask you something?

Kurenai: Sure. What is it, Hanabi?

Hanabi: Sensei, may I spar with you one-on-one?

Kurenai: I don't quite think you're ready for that yet.

Hanabi: But I was promoted to jounin yesterday.

Kurenai:….. What! *thoughts* But she's only 10! How is this even remotely possible! If she keeps this up, she could be on the same level of power as the Hokage!

Hanabi: So, may I spar with you, Kurenai-sensei?

Kurenai: Um, uh, I just remembered. I uh, I have somewhere I need to be. Maybe next time, Hanabi! *runs away at full speed*

~end flashback~

Naruto: And you know, looking back on it all, I really feel so stupid for not noticing all that time that you loved me. How stupid of me not to have seen the writing on the walls!

Hinata: It's alright, Naruto. I don't think it matters how long it took for us, as long as we're together.

Naruto: Yeah. I guess you're right. *gets close enough to Hinata to kiss her*

Anko: Don't mean to interrupt such a touching little moment, but you two have a long way to go. In your shinobi skills, and your love lives. You kids are just lucky to have someone like me to help show you the way.

Naruto: I know. Hey, Anko? Could I ask you something?

Anko: It's Anko-sensei, and sure, what is it?

Naruto: I thought you said I could drop the 'sensei', since we're all adults?

Anko: That was before you agreed to be in the Ero Division.

Naruto: And that brings me back to my question. What's the Ero Division?

Anko: You'll just have to wait and see next chapter.

**END.**

_Author's Notes(edit): aaand that's a wrap. I know, cliffhanger, blast what deuce curse me and alll that. But consider this omake my gift as apologies, brought to you by the author of Nudist?, The Digger(please give him reviews and questions for his interviews dammit! I don't see how it is drabbles of only 10 words get hundreds of reviews, yet we shed blood sweat and tears for long chapters like this for only 4 or 5? Come on people!)_


	2. Ch2:Welcome to the Ero Division!

_Author's notes:__ YO! Greetings from the Emerald Isle (Ireland in case you couldn't tell).Welcome to chapter 2 of "Love Lives and Anbu". Slight correction, Digger wrote the first chapter for me, I'm taking it the rest of the way, and forgive any mistakes I may make, this is my first mature fic, especially one to do with smutty content. Now for those of you wondering "what is the Ero Division?". Check Digger's fic "Nudist?" for more details, as well as what this chapter will reveal to you. For those of you wondering from last chapter, yes, that was Tobi, as in the one we all knew and originally came to love, the Good Boy. He is not Madara, who in this fic, was never around, he is dead (what happened you ask? Quote Kongou Banchou, "Like I care!") . So where is Sasuke btw, why you ask? Again, who the hell cares? But no worries folks, the pervy sage himself is alive and well. And no Jiraiya,I'm not letting you do your crazy routine. Anyways, let's get on with the show._

The minute Anko uttered those 2 particular words, there were mixed reactions among those present. For Naruto and Hinata, the former had his head tilted, his adorkable trademark foxy face all confused, while the latter was adorably puzzled, wondering she heard the word "ero" correctly (having heard Naruto call Jiraiya that all the time). Her father on the other hand...

"ABSOULUTELY NOT! I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS! I REFUSE! I REJECT YOU!" the usually stern Hyuuga Hiashi yelled, in a rather high strung man unusual for the stoic patriarch. Unusual in that his hair was getting frazzled, and he seemed to be pulling the giant head trick Iruka would often pull on when angry. Suffice to say, now the young lovebirds' curiosity was really piqued if the clan head was acting like this, even if this was going to help save his wife.

"Uh, Hiashi-san, are you alright?" asked our resident fox boy, hoping that his girlfriend's (man he's got to love saying that) father wasn't having a nervous breakdown.

"OF COURSE I'M NOT ALRIGHT!This...this...JOKER!" the flustered clan head yelled, pointing at the ANBU clad snake mistress like she was the sum of all evil. "To even imply that my daughter will join ANBU at all, especially a division with a name like THAT..." spitting out the last word like he was about to vomit.

"Oh come on pops, its fine, all the better to help her mother right?" Our favourite snake lady reassured, not aware or even caring that her statement had the opposite effect, the clan head especially taking offence to the pops remark. "No need to keep your finger on the button..." only to be interrupted.

"WHAT BUTTON?" Once, again an unusual temper display, coming from Hiashi Hyuuga as he yells. As far as Naruto was concerned, it's like he was seeing a whole different side of the guy, likely given he seemed to have something against the Ero division, whatever that was. Hopefully they'd get an explanation, and the sooner the better.

"Ooooooh, you know the one where NOW!" The sexy snake woman suddenly cried, and just seconds after which, Hiashi suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree, electricity coursing all over him. Quite the sight really, his long hair stood on end. It was as if lightning had struck him, but the sky was clear blue today. And as suddenly as it began, it stopped, Hinata's stern father now giving off smoke, his hair an afro, and very dazed look in his eyes as he dropped face first into the ground, revealing an electric shock tag on his back, and that there was someone standing behind him, most likely the perpetrator. This enigmatic man, his gender very clear by his body build and all, was decked all out in what seemed like a sleeveless gothic version of Neji's outfit, black and dark blood red, with flame motifs especially noticeable in the baggy sleeve arm warmers he had on, and rather sinister looking mask that reminded the ramen loving fox boy of Haku, except where the eyes were slits, this guy's mask sported red eyes, and what seemed like black tribal marks. "Ni~iiicely done Dok', can always count on you..." you could practically feel Anko's trademark sadistic grin behind her mask.

"No problem, it's what I do." Saluted the newcomer known as Dok', his tone rather similar to Shino's. Though unlike the bug wielding Aburame, there was a rather noticeable tone of deadpan and amusement. Somehow Naruto had a feeling he'd come to like this guy. "These are our soon to be new recruits I gather?" he enquired.

"Ooh are they ever, and lucky us, seems they've just gotten together." Anko grinned, the resident newly made lover birds shivering as they can feel her sadistic grin growing under that snake mask of hers. "Which will make IT all the more sweeter." It? Okay now they had something else to wonder about.

"That's if they pass the trials you know?" Dok' stated, raising his hands in a gesture that showed he meant no harm at all. "Now we know you 2 have questions, and I promise you, everything will be explained as soon as we get there, and oh, Dokuro Kurosame's the name. Friends call me Dok', so I insist you do the same, m'kay?" he said, seeming satisfied with a nod from the resident jinchuriki and heiress, before he suddenly struck both his hands out, slapping the couple's foreheads with shock tags, which Anko proceeded to activate, stunning the two into unconsciousness. Fortunately for them, these tags were a lighter voltage dose then what Hinata's often too strict for his own good dad got (and left him with a temporary afro). The two ANBU members then knelt down and each placed a hand on the shoulder of the comatose pair and then held up their free hands in single signs, teleporting the four of them off the Hyuuga compound to, as far Naruto and Hinata were concerned when they woke up, parts unknown. Leaving one very comatose clan head, with a major headache to wake up to on so many levels, all the while having to explain to his youngest just what the hell is going on here.

_~Unknown Location, a few minutes later~_

Naruto wasn't sure how long he was out, but soon as he opened his eyes, he realised a few things wrong. One was that he was in what seemed underground hallway. The kind with dim lighting that gave a Fight Club vibe. Two was that he and Hinata, who'd also just woken up, were in nothing but their underwear (and who knew she wore a black thong?), and the shirts (tank top in his case and a rather sexy fishnet shirt in Hinata's) on their backs. And three, Anko , who now had her mask on sideways so as to allow them to better see her oh so sexy face and Dok' were standing over them, the atmosphere of their current location and their predicament, overall, was not giving Nartuo a pleasant feeling, at all.

"Uhm, this isn't the part where you harvest our organs and leave our bodies in seedy motel room bathtubs filled with ice is it?" he nervously ' couldn't help but snicker, he could tell this kid was gonna be a load of fun.

"No no no, not at all, we're just taking you to our base." He reassured, as he and Anko helped the duo up and lead them down the ominous hall. At the least, there didn't seem to be any sort of lie in his tone, and despite this seeming random act of kidnapping, well he did seem trustworthy and Anko was well, Anko. At the least, it helped ease up on the eerie tension in the air. Seriously what was with this hallway? Were they purposely trying to scare people? Though given Anko was part of this "Ero Division", that might have been the point.

"Uhm, a-are you sure we're ready for this?" Hinata enquired. You could sense the nervous unease in her voice. After all she and Naruto may be Jounin, but they weren't sure if they were even ready for ANBU. The fact that this particular division had ero in its title only added to her worries. "W-wh-what is the Ero Division anyway?" poor thing was really doing her best not to stutter. Not that Naruto minded, her stutter was one of the qualities that just made her adorable.

"Girly, that question is practically second nature, so I think it's only fair to give you the summary before we go inside," the sexy snake woman quipped, now removing her mask. "As you can tell from the name, we're a little different to the likes of the Torture & Interrogation department, or the Hunter Nin squad, of which this fine specimen of man is also a part of", she winked at Dok' as she spoke that last part.

"Please madam, you make me blush", the masked man humbly said, his hands waving in a sort of deadpan way, though he was clearly amused at Anko's little heap of praise, considering he just goosed her rear. Suffice to say the couple was rather stunned that Anko didn't break the guy's wrist, but rather gave a rather saucy grin and growled like a panther.

"Down boy," she winked, then picking up where she left off, "What our jobs involve, is the most deadly weapon and power in all the shinobi world, one held by many women especially..."

"This fine sexy snake among them..." Dok' snarked, Anko giving another panther growl in response.

"SEX!" with that one single word, caused the couple to wear matching blushes, causing their guides to laugh, "awww relax kiddies, you're at that age and besides it's like I always say, old enough to kill, old enough to drink and old enough to fuck." The grin on the resident snake lady of Konoha was once again not making the couple feel any easier, especially when she continued her explanation, "Oh yes, to be precise; as you know, being ninja, we're made to do all kinds of jobs and missions, from profiling to body guarding, assassination, you get the idea. But all of that takes a whole new meaning with the most forgotten but basic aspect of ninja, the sexual arts." After saying this Anko nodded to Dok' as they came to what seemed like a dead end, only for Dok' to seem like he was doing hand signs. Hard to tell though, given how baggy his sleeves were, but when he was done, he placed both palms on the wall. With that gesture, the patterns that signal a summoning kicked in, followed by the sounds of several locks opening and gears moving, as the wall moved apart and opened, allowing the four to enter, the secret door closing behind them just as soon as they entered into a room resembling a hotel or inn lobby.

"It's considered both a fact and opinion that you can easily pull information out from someone you sleep with, not to mention have significant rise in your chances of survival should you be captured by the enemy" explained Dok, as he and Anko lead the resident Jinchuriki and heiress from the lobby into what seemed to be a lounge area which was very large, about the same as the interior of a dojo. Of course, naturally there were other people there, but it's what was going in there among other things that caused the 2 Anbu hopefuls (provided they passed of course) to widen their eyes in surprise at what they saw.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Naruto yelled, dumbstruck by the sight of several dozen men and women, the latter seemingly in the majority, engaging in various acts of copulation. That last word of course, being one of many terms for the adult Twister, the horizontal mambo, the old as time primal dance shared by many living creatures, s-e-x, SEX! Right out there in plain sight and view, guys and girls (more of the latter then the former he couldn't help but note) doing it missionary style, doggy style, both basic and reverse cowgirl. There were even threesomes, one girl getting it basic and anal, one getting it doggy style while blowing a guy. Or 2 girls and one guy, one eating the other out as she got it doggy style, or the guy getting ridden cow girl style while eating the second girl out. Or even just 2 girls going at each other like a scene right out of one of Jiraiya's Icha Icha Paradise books. All this amidst several men and women who were passing through or lounging around, napping on couches, making idle conversation, playing games, reading, the kind of activities you'd see anyone doing anywhere else. Said people not in the midst of coitus were in varying states of clothing, ranging from fully clothed (though many of the women seen seemed to share Anko's fashion sense, sporting revealing clothing consisting of leather, latex and fishnet mesh) to going around topless or in just their underwear, to even being naked. Suffice to say, if he and Hinata were blushing any harder, they'd practically be glowing in the dark.

"Mortals, your mistress has arrived! Bow down and worship, for she has brought new blood into the ranks!" yelled Anko, who gave the still flustered beyond belief couple pats on the back. Many of those who weren't engaged in raunchy behaviour gave the duo polite smiles and waves, while some gave cat calls and wolf whistles to Dok' and Anko, some of the girls who passed by especially giving them some rather saucy looks and sexy smiles and waves.

"Okay, first off. WHAT IN THE HELL? What's going on here? Why are some of these people all...SO NON-CHALANT? There's guys and girls going at each other like rabid weasels in heat, but the ones not going at it aren't even batting an eye! It's like it's about as normal here as a walk in the park!" The whiskered blonde yelled, his face so red a tomato would look pale, as his ever so moe girlfriend nodded in polite and mute agreement.

"Exactly right " Dok' said, a blank tone so matter of fact, there was no way he was bullshitting at all, especially as he now moved his mask to the side of his face, showing slate greyish skin, blood red eyes and a face that reminded Naruto of Gaara and Zabusa (It was definitely the lack of eyebrows). "And yes, same thing goes for why the states of dress vary, even the nudists. Sex is what we're all about here. On missions and off, in here, if you feel like you're going to suffer major blue balls or have an itch that needs scratching, this is the place. Genin, Chunin, Jounin, Tokubetsu Jounin, of varying age, rank and gender are recruited should they have particular qualities and traits that make them suited for our line of work. "He explained, in a manner that seemed like he'd have been right home on a college campus giving incoming freshmen their orientations.

"Like this handsome devil says, sex is first, second and third nature around here. Whether couples like you two to just single folks like me who go for having friends with benefits, we aim to make sure urges never go unchecked. Let's give you the layout and lowdown on the grand tour!" said the sexy snake woman, who started dragging the demon host and heiress along with her, her partner in crime following like a shadow, showing their hopeful new recruits the sights and sounds of what would be their new home away from home. Lord have mercy on them.

_~The Showers~_

"The Ero Division's all about sexuality. Be you man or woman, it's nothing you haven't seen before, some members wearing little to no clothing at all, so these facilities are all unisex and co-ed." Dok' went on, once again showing the common nonchalant mindset of this place, showing that he was indeed right, much to Naruto and Hinata's dismay as they stood among what was likely the changing room area, witnessing more men and women in the nude, or getting into it as they shed whatever clothes they had before using the facilities, which consisted of a large open area walk-in shower and an assortment of bathtubs. And they could see Dok' was not kidding as both genders were bathing and showering, and they could once again clearly see pairs, trios and whatever number you could think engaging in open acts of sexual intimacy. From simple blowjobs and hand jobs, to the full on game of adult Twister. Hell, Anko was currently in the showers herself, naked as the day she was born (and proud of it), currently eating a girl out while one guy was doing her doggy style, and if her moans were anything to go by, she was loving every minute of it as hot steamy water ran over them, giving the scene that sort of erotic feel to it. Poor Hinata was covering her innocent eyes, and trying to block out mental images of her and Naruto doing said acts (especially her secret thoughts of her, him and hundreds of his kage bunshin). Naruto meanwhile was wondering how much more perverse could it get here? Though frankly, he might as well have just had Murphy label him her bitch for tempting fate like that.

_~Moments later, The Gym~_

"As you can see, we also have a fully equipped state of the art gym, for all your basic workout and training needs, from weight lifting to treadmills. And yes, as you can see, even here nookie is not left out, but hey sex itself can also be great exercise." Dok' helpfully explained again to the couple, Hinata still covering her eyes and doing her damned best not faint, while her boyfriend was finding "Little Naruto" hard to keep down. And really, who could blame them? Yes the gym was indeed well equipped, from large matted area with a wall sized mirror for aerobics and other such exercises, to a ring for taijutsu practice, as well as weights and machines such as treadmills. And of course, the rather unique dress code was on in full here, many of the men and women decked out in either casual clothes for exercise, ANBU uniforms, and of course, for the women, spandex sports bras, short shorts and gymnastic bodysuits. And need I say it, some of them were naked as jaybirds, and amidst the fitness enthusiasts were more people engaged in the act of intercourse, some getting blown, screwed or eaten out even while they were using equipment or doing basics such as stretches.

"Um,... D-Dok', c-can we move on please?" Hinata mumbled, her tone clearly showing she and Naruto'd rather nor hang around this rather pornographic atmosphere. Though frankly, she felt like she was tempting fate. She knew it, Naruto knew it, and of course Murphy knew it. And said person's namesake law kicked in, when Naruto caught sight of one particularly intimidating looking figure doing bench presses. The figure was clearly female of course, judging by her very sexy curves and oh so very generous bust, which seemed to go well with her rather Amazonian physique and musculature. This look was given an exotic appeal via her dark olive skin/cocoa complexion, though the numerous scars that she visibly sported didn't really detract from her appearance, at least from as much as could be seen in her workout outfit, which consisted of a pair of tight latex looking short shorts and sports bra. Rather they gave her something of an essence that seemed like a tiger. Any other musings he was about to have were cut short by the "EEP!" sound coming from his unofficial girlfriend/future wife and mother of his children ('_Where did that come from?'_ he thought) as she jumped up in shock, hands on her rear.

"Mmm-mmm, firm yet supple, that's Hyuuga girls for you, plenty of junk in the trunk, with treasure to match " the duo turned to find a girl with short, boyish raven black hair, modestly sized breasts, and dark red eyes, who was naked a jaybird, much to their embarrassment.

"D-don't be so,so..." Hinata stuttered, covering her eyes as her face turned more shades of red then a tomato.

"FRESH! Seriously, ever heard of personal space?" Naruto yelled, finishing her sentence, and looking majorly irked at someone copping a feel on Hinata. Only to get a raspberry from this as yet unknown girl, who quite frankly didn't mind being an exhibitionist which, quite frankly, seemed to definitely show the level of modesty around this place once again.

"Hey sorry nads for brains, but I see a butt I like, it's my duty to tap that booty" she shamelessly stated.

"Now now Onnasuki, be nice, and 'sides, that booty belongs to Foxy over there" everyone turned to the direction that sentence came, in time to see Anko entering the gym, still naked as the day she was born. And clearly she had not even bothered to dry herself off from her little romp in the showers, especially if the glow around her was anything to go by, which just screamed "_I've just been banged and I loved every damn second of it"._

"Awww phooey, the good ones are always taken" the girl now known as Onnasuki pouted. At least the duo now had a name to associate with this exhibitionist. A name that, suffice to say, was pretty big clue about her orientation and attitude in terms of sexual preference. (A/N: Her name means "girl lover" in Japanese.)

"Don't mind her, she tends to focus on living up to her name so much that it makes for very awkward first impressions" explained Dok', once again seeming nonchalant to the fact two very hot and naked women were standing right in front of him.

"So she's...you know?" Naruto asked, trying to not sound offensive or rude.

"Yeah she is, don't worry she doesn't bite, much" said a new voice, drawing their attention to a new person coming their way. And it was none other than the same dark skinned woman Naruto had noticed earlier before, and now that she was standing up it became pretty clear, she was FREAKIN' TALL! She practically towered over them, and Naruto knew that was something, given he neared 6 feet tall, this girl seemed close to about a foot taller at least. Hinata of course, found her eyes to be quite unique, a sort of golden colour like a snake's, but were surprisingly soft and gentle for someone with such a ferocious appearance.

"Awww Kiki "Onnasuki pouted, "You wound me so you mean thing" she mock-whined. For at least 5 seconds before getting a saucy grin on her face as she sauntered over to the Amazonian known now as Kiki before jumping into her arms, wrapping her legs around her waist and giving her one hell of a French kiss. Hinata once again covered her eyes, not used to the thought of herself and Naruto engaging in even the most innocent of public displays of affection, let alone being this daring. Naruto meanwhile was completely stunned, wondering if he'd gone and stumbled into something right of Jiraiya's books.

"Uhm, are they..?" he hesistantly asked, and tried not to admit the sight was very arousing.

"Ooh that they are foxy, that they are, Onnasuki and Nikia, that's the stunning panther there before you, most of us call her Kiki F.Y.I, are 100% lesbian" Anko answered his unfinished question for him, all the while unashamedly wearing an expression that looked like a cat that found a whole flock of canaries that didn't even know how to fly. Nikia, or Kiki to her friends, broke her little make-out with Onnasuki, looking away shyly with a blush and pout that was just made her look adoreable.

"Anko, no need to be so blunt with our newbies, the poor things like they're having a tough time adjusting already" she mumbled, only for Anko to respond by coming over to Nikia, placing a hand on the back of her head and gently pulling her down to give her a French kiss of her own. And a damn good kiss at, considering the little purrs and moans the proclaimed panther was making. Onnasuki of course had quite the catty expression on her face, making clear she enjoyed being sandwiched between the two, especially since she could feel Anko's ample bosom pressing into her own naked back.

"Much as I'm sure this is all very romantic and exotic to see, I believe we'd best follow the schedule and induct our young lovers into the division?" Dok' queried, the couple thankful that he seemed to be the straight man around here. "Considering the situation, maybe it'd be best we put them the trials ASAP." He quipped.

"Right right, business first, pleasure later" Anko said, as she broke her kiss with Nikia, leaving the giant with a very flushed look.

"Though in the case of this place, is there really much of a difference?" Onnasuki enquired, still clinging onto Nikia like a koala.

"Too true my saucy girl lover, too very true" Anko answered, before snapping her fingers, catching Naruto and Hinata's attention. "Right this way kiddies" she yelled, taking the two by the hands and running off with them to who knows where around this den of modesty, Dok, Nikia and Onnasuki (who was now riding piggyback on her, her arms meeting around Nikia's chest, where she was likely copping a feel) following after them.

~_One run down an ominous corridor later~_

"We've arrived!" yelled Anko. The love birds, and their de-facto tour guides found themselves facing a circular room lined with passages and doors, leading them to assume this was the testing area for their so called "trials". Standing before the ones in front of them was a guy sporting a Mohawk like hairstyle, who stood at about Naruto's height as a genin, his headband tied in a style similar to the rogue Mist swordsman Zabusa and wearing an outfit composed of a sleeveless black shirt with a skull print on the front and two differently coloured eyes. Behind him were, quite frankly, the two hottest women either of them had seen (and considering who they'd seen, it pretty much made it clear they really went for lookers in this division). The outfits they had on were so racy they may as well have been wearing nothing at all, and from the looks of them they were twins, despite one looking rather fierce and having blonde slightly wavy hair, while her sister had a more calm expression and straight black navy-ish kind of hair reaching down to mid-back.

"Yo Anko, these the newbies?" said the little guy, who by the sound of his voice, was a t least a year or two older then Konohamaru, not that you could tell by his size.

"That they are little man, that they are." Anko answered for them.

"Naruto-san, Hinata-san, allow me to introduce Chino, or little man as we like to call him, among other things, guess why?" said Dok', the amusement very clear in his voice.

"HEY! FUCK YOU GEPETTO! I'll have you know I'm big where it counts and bitches love me for every bit of it!UNF!" yelled the diminutive little man now known as Chino, who emphasised his rant with a macho pose, causing Anko to snicker and the twins behind him to giggle.

"And the two lovely angels you see behind him are Kisara, the blonde on the left, and Miu, her sister to the right, who we call the Twins." Dok informed, not the least put off by Chino, clearly showing he was used to his antics.

"They're in charge of...certain spots here in the Ero division" supplied Nikia, who of course gave another cute pout and blush as she looked away when the twins gave a little wink and blew kisses her way.

"Much as I'd love for us to get to know one another better, we're a little short for time, so we gotta put the kiddies here through their trials by today" Anko stated, the tone in her voice being serious this time.

"Well hell, considering the situation" snarked Chino, who snapped his fingers, "Alright Whiskers, Tits McGee, drop 'em!" he barked.

"Wait what?" Naruto asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"He means you and your angel need to lose the rest of your clothes sweety" Nikia gently informed him.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?" the couple gasped, the realisation hitting them. "You mean.." Naruto didn't, couldn't finish that sentence.

"O-oh my, oh dear..." Hinata stuttered, her nerves now reaching breaking point.

"Yeah sorry, you have to be naked for your trials. Sorry but that's part of the rules here. We all did it, Me, Onnasuki, the twins, Dok, even Anko." Nikia explained, her tone as gentle they'd come to expect from her so far. Suffice to say, the recent couple knew the thought of seeing each other in their birthday suits, let alone other people, was too much. They'd only just slept together in the nude not long ago.

"No time for niceties" Anko quipped, as she whistled, causing six women to emerge from some of the doors, all of them naked, as was part of the seemingly modest dress code around here. Seeing these women, Naruto could swear they were all familiar, three of them in particular, he just couldn't quite place it.

"Sumire, Emi, Kohada, Susuki, Momiji, Otoha, if you please, divulge our guests of their remaining wear" Dok gestured. And with that, before Naruto and Hinata could even react, the six ladies pounced, stripping them in the blink of an eye. It was all they could do to just about cover themselves with their hands.

"Me-yeow! Mooneyes really gets it from her mama huh?" Onnasuki purred, definitely enjoying the uncovered view of the Hyuuga heiress.

"Onnasuki..." Nikia mock-warned "down girl, she's taken, and I don't believe the lovebirds are at that stage in their love life".

"Awww, you know me Kiki" her fellow lesbian chided, as she playfully poked her dark skinned friend's cheek, "It's just how I am." Said giantess could only turn away with another adorable blush and pout. Nervous and completely horrified at their current state of nudity, the Uzumaki/Hyuuga duo couldn't help but think it was quite the contrast.

"Hehe, isn't she just sublime?" Anko blurted, as if reading their minds, "She may look like a ferocious tigress, but really she's as sweet, soft and cuddly as a teddy bear." Onnasuki certainly agreed, judging by the fact she was now nibbling and sucking on the proclaimed teddy bear's neck like a delicious treat.

"Yeah that's good and all...but do we really have to be naked?" Naruto nervously enquired.

"Damn right you have to be Whiskers, so step right up, 'cause you and bright eyes there have 5 trials to beat if you want to help save Hitomi." Anko stated, the look in her eyes and face showing she wasn't joking. All the couple could think was; what did they get themselves into?

_To be continued..._

_**Omake 2 by the Digger**  
_

**Notable People of the Ero Division**

Anko: Hey, everyone! Your lovely sex goddess, Anko here. We're here to tell you folks about some of the famous and notable people involved with the Ero Division.

Onnasuki: Today, we're talking about one of the hawtest members among our ranks, someone who didn't quite up in this chapter for some reason… Anyway, we're here to talk about Mikoto Uchiha!

Naruto: That pleasant woman used to look after us as academy kids? I didn't know she was in the Ero Division too!

Hinata: Me neither. He he. I remember she would always treat us so well. She always gave me the best advice when I was little.

Naruto: Yeah. She was like a mother figure to all of us. Yet, she always seemed so alone somehow…

Anko: That would be mostly in part to do with the Uchiha Massacre. You kids were probably never told about it.

Hinata: What happened?

Nikia: Well, long ago, when you two were pretty fresh in the academy, the Uchiha Clan conspired to revolt against the leaf village, but the coup was foiled as the Uchiha clan was almost totally wiped out by a spy among their ranks.

Anko: a member of their clan who sided with the Leaf for the greater good: Mikoto's own son, Itachi Uchiha.

Hinata: T-T That must have been devastating for her, to have her family killed by her own son.

Anko: Even more so that her youngest son, Sasuke, was drawn into the crossfire too.

Onnasuki: Of course that jackass couldn't lay a finger on Mikoto! Damn, I never would have thought someone who typically played the role of a housewife could kick so much ass!

Dok': From what I understand, Mikoto became so angry and devastated by her eldest son's actions, that she fought back almost unconsciously, killing him. She's all that's left of the Uchiha now, and after many months of depression, she found some meaning for her life among the ranks of the Anbu. Though, I'm not entirely sure how it is she became associated with the Ero Division…

Anko: "Not entirely sure how she became associated with the Ero Division." You liar! Who was the charmer who went up to her acting all gentlemanly, going, _"If you ever wish to remarry, I will always be here for you, darling Mikoto." _

Dok': -/_/- I never said anything like that!

Anko: You lying dog, you!

Naruto: Hm… you know, it actually does stand to reason, now that I think about it….

Nikia: What do you mean?

Naruto: Well, looking back, I did sometimes see Mikoto say things that would allude to this place, so I guess it actually kinda makes sense. I mean, she was one of the only ones who approved of my Sexy Jutsu. In fact, I think she kinda liked it…

Hinata: 0/0 huh?

Naruto: She used to tell me it was a healthy thing for boys to peep at naked women, she even once asked if I wanted to see her nude once.

Onnasuki: Lucky little bastard! I'm just glad that she's free to explore her own sexual desires now. Ugh, the Uchihas were just the BIGGEST prudes in the world! They even had cousins, and in some cases, siblings, marry and mate!

Naruto&Hinata: ewww! You can't be serious!

Anko: She is. To that effect, Mikoto is the only one alive capable of using the infamous Doujutsu known as the Sharingan, and also the only one who knows the famous fire ninjutsu of the Uchiha clan.

Onnasuki: She is straight, although notably bi-curious, she weighs 108lbs, stands at 5'04", currently age 45, appears age 25. Definitely a prime example of a MILF, if you ask me!

Anko: *licks her lips* Oh, yes indeed!

Chino: I don't think you ladies would have a chance. She's mostly straight, so she's totally looking for a man to take her, most likely a new husband. I'd be more than happy to give her plenty of kids!

Dok': *gets a horrible image of Chino, Mikoto, and about 20 kids* I don't think you could do that.

Chino: What? Why not?

Hinata: Um, excuse me, but Naruto and I don't have to do the trials until next chapter, so… could we have our clothes back now?

Onnasuki: *grabs Hinata's boobs from behind* Nope! Besides, you look best without that tent of a coat you always wear! You've got the nicest boobs in the leaf village! A pair of national treasures, don't hide 'em!

Hinata: -/_/- Mikoto used to tell me the same thing growing up.

**END**

_**Author's notes; **_**Aaaaaand cut and print people! Apologies to you all for the long wait for this update. What can I say, I'm a procrastinator XD, it's a real bad habit. Anyways, this had been beta-read by my good pal the Digger, much obliged amigo. Now what are the 5 trials? Well that's what you, and Naruto and Hinata are about to find out next chapter? And what of Hitomi you ask? You'll find out, same fic time, same fic channel. Before I finish these notes, a few brief facts I'd like to provide you.**

**Anko as you can tell, will get a lot of focus in this story, and rightfully so. Quite frankly, it's a slap in the face that Bakamoto says she's his favourite female character, yet we hardly see her at all, nevermind poor Naruto, in the series. As you can see, She's quite the, how to put it, little nympho.***_**record scratch***_

**Anko: Hey I resent that. *does a sexy pose* I am the sum of all that is fucking hot! Worship me mortals! I love sex, no ifs ands or buts about it. I'm a slut and damn proud. I've been doing the nasty since my genin days, so deal with it. And to you guys and girls out there looking for a good time... **

**Damn it Anko! Leave the 4****th**** wall alone, I'm trying to work here! Sorry for the interruption folks. She gets like that sometimes. Now second thing is the ages of characters in this fic. It's AU, but set years after Shippuden, so everyone who is, will be or mentioned at least in this fic are the following ages: Naruto and Hinata, they're 18. Konohamaru 14, to be precise, as are Moegi and Udon, while Hanabi is 12 nearing 13. Tenten, Lee, and Neji are 19, Kankuro 20, Temari 21, Kakashi, Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai 32, Anko 30, Tsunade and Jiraiya 56, Hiashi 47, and Hitomi 36-42,I'm not sure about.  
And,finally Chino is about 15/16, Dok', Nikia, and Onnasuki 18-20, and Kisara and Miu, the twins are between their mid to late 20s. These six as you obviously may have noticed, are OCs, with Onnasuki belonging to my good buddy The Digger, used with his permission and blessing, while Nikia, Dok' and Chino are mine. The twins are sort of co-made by me and Digger, and looks wise are based on these two; **

**ht tp : / imageftw. com/uploads/20091228/Douke%20Banchou%20. png **

**Just copy, paste and remove the spaces, quite the lookers aren't they? Later chapters will reveal more on what their job is in the Ero Division (again reference Nudist? By the Digger, and give reviews people! Reviews are the bread and butter of us writers.) Now as for the six women who were ordered to strip our little young couple, they're not OCs. Rather they are actual canon characters from the series, albeit very minor background characters. But quite frankly, as both Digger and I agree, and so do likely many of the guys who read this will agree, Bakamoto makes very hot women. Even the minor characters (It's just easy to forget, what with the manga being the heap of crap that it currently is, thanks to the tumour that is Asshat, Madara and their stupid clan with their stupid bloodline). Hell just take a look at these links, look at those women and see for yourself people. Same as before, copy, paste and remove spaces.**

**ht tp : / naruto .wikia .com/wiki/Susuki  
ht tp : / naruto. wikia. com/wiki/Momiji_%28Tanzaku%29 ht tp: / naruto. wikia .com/wiki/Kohada ht tp: / naruto. wikia .com/wiki/Sumire ht tp : / naruto. wikia. com/wiki/Emi ht tp : / naruto. wikia. com/wiki/Otoha **

**Anyways that's all from me for now. Expect the next chapter to come soon, hopefully sooner rather than later. Frankly, I owe you guys and the Digger too much to forget. So from the Emerald Isle, this is Sketchfan saying ciao for now. (cue Anko pouncing on me and proceeding to molest me.) **


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